Ah, the concept that is near and dear to all of us men who have started on the path to success with women and dating...
FEAR.
FEAR.
Fear of rejection.
Fear of embarrassment.
Fear of the unknown.
Fear of what a woman might do if we start talking to her.
Fear of what other guys would think if they knew that we needed help with women.
Fear of what WOMEN would think if they knew that we needed help with women.
Fear of admitting that we're AFRAID....and about 100 others.
But, what exactly IS fear?
And why is it such a problem?
Fear of embarrassment.
Fear of the unknown.
Fear of what a woman might do if we start talking to her.
Fear of what other guys would think if they knew that we needed help with women.
Fear of what WOMEN would think if they knew that we needed help with women.
Fear of admitting that we're AFRAID....and about 100 others.
But, what exactly IS fear?
And why is it such a problem?
And what can be done to overcome it?
Well, let's start with what fear is, then we'll move on to some techniques to get past it. I once heard a great definition of FEAR:
In other words, the things that you feel fear about are usually not real. It's usually just "false evidence".
You also might think back about the last 10 things you felt fear around. Now, ask yourself...
Well, let's start with what fear is, then we'll move on to some techniques to get past it. I once heard a great definition of FEAR:
False Evidence Appearing Real
In other words, the things that you feel fear about are usually not real. It's usually just "false evidence".
You also might think back about the last 10 things you felt fear around. Now, ask yourself...
Did any of those things come true?
In most of the cases, you'll find that the fear did NOT come true.
I heard once that something like 98% of the things that people fear and worry about never come true.
I've found this to be true in my own life as well.
Fear is an emotion, or an emotional state. It's an amazing and wonderful emotion...because it can help save your life in certain situations.
A hundred thousand years ago, when we were running around in the desert, we needed powerful, motivating emotions like FEAR to save our lives.
When you feel fear (especially if it's a response to real physical danger) you'll notice that some AMAZING things happen. Your eyes open up wider so you can see better, adrenaline pumps into your body, your heart beats fast to deliver blood to your muscles, and all kinds of other wondrous processes are triggered.
The PROBLEM is when we experience fear at times when there IS NO real physical danger.
We humans are amazing. We can just IMAGINE things and feel fear in response to the mental images.
And I'm sure you know exactly what the problem is with this... it can IMMOBILIZE you at critical times.
Have you ever seen a woman that you'd like to meet, but you just couldn't walk over and start talking to her?
No, it's never happened to me, either. ;)
What was the problem?
Usually, it's fear.
Fear that she'll get upset, or fear that she'll have a boyfriend... or fear that she'll embarrass you in front of others... or fear that you won't know what to say to her...
And, of course, when you feel that strong fear emotion, it just FREEZES you and makes you totally ineffective.
So, what's the solution?
Well, there are several ways to overcome fears.
One way is to do the thing you fear. If you do the thing that you fear, and see that nothing bad will happen, then you eventually overcome it and become programmed not to feel fear anymore.
For instance, if you're afraid to approach women and talk to them, just DO IT. Go talk to 50 women in the next week and see that most of them will respond positively to you.
Other ways to overcome your fear when it comes to approaching women include:
- Understanding the dynamics of male/female interactions better than most women do.
- Learning how to approach women using the same types of words and body language that those who are at ease with women use.
- Learning how to use props or other devices to get a woman's attention without having to "approach" her directly.
- Learning mental techniques to overcome fears or "reset" your emotions instantly, anytime you'd like.
- Using mental preparation to be completely ready for anything that might happen.
In most of the cases, you'll find that the fear did NOT come true.
I heard once that something like 98% of the things that people fear and worry about never come true.
I've found this to be true in my own life as well.
Fear is an emotion, or an emotional state. It's an amazing and wonderful emotion...because it can help save your life in certain situations.
A hundred thousand years ago, when we were running around in the desert, we needed powerful, motivating emotions like FEAR to save our lives.
When you feel fear (especially if it's a response to real physical danger) you'll notice that some AMAZING things happen. Your eyes open up wider so you can see better, adrenaline pumps into your body, your heart beats fast to deliver blood to your muscles, and all kinds of other wondrous processes are triggered.
The PROBLEM is when we experience fear at times when there IS NO real physical danger.
We humans are amazing. We can just IMAGINE things and feel fear in response to the mental images.
And I'm sure you know exactly what the problem is with this... it can IMMOBILIZE you at critical times.
Have you ever seen a woman that you'd like to meet, but you just couldn't walk over and start talking to her?
No, it's never happened to me, either. ;)
What was the problem?
Usually, it's fear.
Fear that she'll get upset, or fear that she'll have a boyfriend... or fear that she'll embarrass you in front of others... or fear that you won't know what to say to her...
And, of course, when you feel that strong fear emotion, it just FREEZES you and makes you totally ineffective.
So, what's the solution?
Well, there are several ways to overcome fears.
One way is to do the thing you fear. If you do the thing that you fear, and see that nothing bad will happen, then you eventually overcome it and become programmed not to feel fear anymore.
For instance, if you're afraid to approach women and talk to them, just DO IT. Go talk to 50 women in the next week and see that most of them will respond positively to you.
Other ways to overcome your fear when it comes to approaching women include:
- Understanding the dynamics of male/female interactions better than most women do.
- Learning how to approach women using the same types of words and body language that those who are at ease with women use.
- Learning how to use props or other devices to get a woman's attention without having to "approach" her directly.
- Learning mental techniques to overcome fears or "reset" your emotions instantly, anytime you'd like.
- Using mental preparation to be completely ready for anything that might happen.
So make the commitment to yourself, and do it!
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