There is a spectacle that I have observed in many of the individuals I have worked with who have been hurt in distressing ways or repeatedly over their life span.
This spectacle is doubting the obvious. How many kids, who come from physical, emotional, or sexually abusive homes begin to doubt that the actions of the abuser is improper. Even in the most blatant cases of physical and sexual abuse, the teenager begins to view their hurt as part of the natural course of living. Over time, they either learn to separate from the violence or end up acting in ways that places the focus or fault on them. Many people look to Parenting Skills Book resources for help.
In the more subtle incidences, kids receive depressing communications from their caretakers that they are nuisances and that they are to be seen and not heard. They are deprived of nurturing and affection when they display they have a need to be addressed. In early childhood, children begin to detach from others or demonstrate anger in reply to their frustrations. Various times, parents under stress begin to make their children feel liable for their daily struggles of adulthood. Children begin to feel the day by day stress of an adult’s life devoid of the coping talents to manage these adult themes. Countless families nurture their children well and assume great care not to give their children negative messages. With a rising number of single parent households and the higher expectations placed in the office, parents will have instances when they take out their frustrations on their children. There is also a substance abuse crisis with adults, many of which have children. The probability of abuse and hurt increases dramatically in these households wherever a parent is abusing drugs or alcohol. If abuse of kids happens on a constant basis with the parent not acknowledging their wrongful acts, their children will begin to internalize that they have acted in ways to cause their parent to be furious at them.
We all know the paradox that subsists for parents and their children. Parents are getting older and feeling more fatigued as our children are gaining more momentum. Placing children in front of televisions, laptops, and video games have been a response to this paradox in many cases today. This has been the children’s outlet for their school day and their interactions with others during the day. This begins the rotation of children not being able to manage their life and improve skills to manage their conflicts and hurts in and out of the home. As they grow older to puberty, they begin to feel more disconnected to their parents and begin to emulate the role models they select for friends. In various families I have worked as a counselor, I have observed a “tug of war” among the parent and child where numerous negative messages are shared back and forth. The teenager, many times, is looking for answers to their life but only receive negative messages that they will not grow up to amount to anything. Of course, parents say this out of anger and frustration; however, the adolescent does not know this statement is not true. This is mostly the case in families where apology and problem solving is not practiced. Without the guidance from a trustworthy adult, many teenagers become vastly insecure and self-doubting. They turn to their friends for corroboration and comfort. You probably realize what can take place from there. These families need to adopt a system for teaching and evaluating expectations of one another based on solid foundation of values and morals. There must also be a practice for hurts to be addressed and atoned for to create an environment that values responsibility, accountability, and reconciliation. Find out more at Relationship Advice Blog.
This spectacle is doubting the obvious. How many kids, who come from physical, emotional, or sexually abusive homes begin to doubt that the actions of the abuser is improper. Even in the most blatant cases of physical and sexual abuse, the teenager begins to view their hurt as part of the natural course of living. Over time, they either learn to separate from the violence or end up acting in ways that places the focus or fault on them. Many people look to Parenting Skills Book resources for help.
In the more subtle incidences, kids receive depressing communications from their caretakers that they are nuisances and that they are to be seen and not heard. They are deprived of nurturing and affection when they display they have a need to be addressed. In early childhood, children begin to detach from others or demonstrate anger in reply to their frustrations. Various times, parents under stress begin to make their children feel liable for their daily struggles of adulthood. Children begin to feel the day by day stress of an adult’s life devoid of the coping talents to manage these adult themes. Countless families nurture their children well and assume great care not to give their children negative messages. With a rising number of single parent households and the higher expectations placed in the office, parents will have instances when they take out their frustrations on their children. There is also a substance abuse crisis with adults, many of which have children. The probability of abuse and hurt increases dramatically in these households wherever a parent is abusing drugs or alcohol. If abuse of kids happens on a constant basis with the parent not acknowledging their wrongful acts, their children will begin to internalize that they have acted in ways to cause their parent to be furious at them.
We all know the paradox that subsists for parents and their children. Parents are getting older and feeling more fatigued as our children are gaining more momentum. Placing children in front of televisions, laptops, and video games have been a response to this paradox in many cases today. This has been the children’s outlet for their school day and their interactions with others during the day. This begins the rotation of children not being able to manage their life and improve skills to manage their conflicts and hurts in and out of the home. As they grow older to puberty, they begin to feel more disconnected to their parents and begin to emulate the role models they select for friends. In various families I have worked as a counselor, I have observed a “tug of war” among the parent and child where numerous negative messages are shared back and forth. The teenager, many times, is looking for answers to their life but only receive negative messages that they will not grow up to amount to anything. Of course, parents say this out of anger and frustration; however, the adolescent does not know this statement is not true. This is mostly the case in families where apology and problem solving is not practiced. Without the guidance from a trustworthy adult, many teenagers become vastly insecure and self-doubting. They turn to their friends for corroboration and comfort. You probably realize what can take place from there. These families need to adopt a system for teaching and evaluating expectations of one another based on solid foundation of values and morals. There must also be a practice for hurts to be addressed and atoned for to create an environment that values responsibility, accountability, and reconciliation. Find out more at Relationship Advice Blog.
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